There are times I wish that I could take pictures of things with my eye. Like a screen shot of life, a still on my brain's computer.
I was sitting in her room, feeding Cameron her last bottle for the day and (hopefully) sending her off to Dreamland. As she was eating, I was watching her wiggle her toes. Her hands grabbing my monstrous fingers. Her cheeks bob up and down while taking slurps of milk. Her big, beautiful, blue eyes looking up at me and the rhythmic breathing all babies get when they are serious about eating.
I tried to grab some shots with the little snappy camera, and I just couldn't grasp what I wanted with one hand. Even if I could, there are about three thousand little nuances that photos just don't grab. At least my photos, anyway. I guess if a photographer could fly, go between walls, and have perfect lighting each time, they could do it. But... I am not that person. That was when I wished I could just take a screen grab of life at that precise moment, capturing the things I could not with one hand and poor lighting.
She's grown so much already, I'm always amazed when I stop and think about her, or even babies in general. We laugh and joke that all they do in the early months is sleep, eat and poop (which is absolutely true, by the way) but in reality they are busy turning milk/formula in to a person. A little person, that some day will walk, eat dinner on their own, drive, and talk back to you (not in that order, the talking back happens so much sooner...). A little person that has gone from a lump o' nothing to a cooing smiler who has distinct preferences for things.
Sydney told me today to "go away" when I came into the living room with her and Jarrod. We were all dancing our no-rhythm-having dances to the radio and she cuddles up to Daddy and tells me to go away.
Normally I let that stuff roll off. Kids say stuff like that all the time, and they often show a preference for one parent. I know that it flip-flops at the drop of a hat. But my soft core got kicked in the head by a three year old's instruction. Her mean instruction. So I went to change Cameron and get some laundry folded. She apologized (naturally, at J's instruction) but it still hurt.
*sigh*
I kind of wished I could take a snapshot of that, too. One day when she is grown (or maybe not so grown) something will happen to break her heart and I wish I could show this to her. Not in a "serves you right" sort of way (though the meanie in me kind of feels that way, too! *lol*) but more of a "this is life" sort of way. We get hurt. Intentionally, unintentionally, physically, emotionally - the whole lot - by people we love. So how do you go about teaching them about that? That the words she might say to someone can hurt their feelings? How do you teach them to have empathy for other people and to "put herself in their shoes"?





